lord i am drunk haha. Right now i’m at Pauls. I know i haven’t updated in foreveeeer and i would like to say that i’m sorry. damn i hate not typing this on my mac… the keys keep fucking me up… ughhhhh. Anyways, life is good. I’m happy. I’m “with” paul and i like it. i wish i could type more but i just cant function with a [pc. i hate these things. do svidenya for now.
We love designer.
Its 2010!! Omg i can’t believe it!
I’m sitting im Miller Hall.. didn’t think that this was going to be happening anytime soon but it did. I had to work tonight…. Yeah, i was scheduled to work 4 to close.. Suck ass… Oh well. I am having a hell of a New Years and it’s amazing. Life is good at the moment. I’m happy. That’s good. I just hope it stays good. Only time can tell right?
Omg i’m using a PC and i’m not going to lie… It’s not that amazing.. But it’s okay. 
Oh readers.. This kid is pretty cool, i will admit.
Wowowowowowow. It’s Christmas and I’m sitting at tylers updating this damn thing on my new iPod. This was the only damn thin I wanted for Xmas and Im so glad I got it. I also got a new phone. It’s just a simple blackberry curve 8900. I really like it though. A lot better then my blackjack 2.
I’m so glad that Ive got to see everyone. All my friends and family. Tomorrow i’m heading back to Pittsburgh. Kinda excited kinda not. I’m having to much fun here. My moms having a family dinner at our house tomorrow so that will be cool.
This is all for now. Bonding time with my bro.
Drunk, drunk, drunk… Yes, i am haha. Grammer is going to be as good as it gets so bear with me. I can’t say anything is new.. Christmas is getting closer and that means i get to see my family. And Tyler I miss my little brutha… :\ god damn it. Im tired of typing.. Well honestly, im just to drunk.. good night
You’ve been acting awful tough lately
Smoking a lot of cigarettes lately
But inside, you’re just a little baby
It’s okay to say you’ve got a weak spot
You don’t always have to be on top
Better to be hated than love, love, loved for what you’re not
You’re vulnerable, you’re vulnerable
You are not a robot
You’re loveable, so loveable
But you’re just troubled
Guess what? I’m not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I’m not a robot, a robot
You’ve been hanging with the unloved kids
Who you never really liked and you never trusted
But you are so magnetic, you pick up all the pins
Never committing to anything
You don’t pick up the phone when it ring, ring, rings
Don’t be so pathetic, just open up and sin.
I am not a robot - Marina & The Diamonds.
In love with that song when im chillin 
The Penguin Prison Remix version of it though.
Life is something that to many people take for granit, or however you spell it. As of right now, i am just living life. No purpose at the moment. So how about, i went to work twice this week and i wasn’t even on that days schedule. I went to work today at 11 and worked until 3:30… I thought i had to work 11 – 7 today but i wasn’t even scheduled. Wow.. Complete dumb ass huh? lol. I need to really buckle down and start looking for a school too. Ughh… As much as i don’t want to i have to. I need to be doing more then working. It’s getting so boring.. Not having people to talk to during the day except your co-workers who you see everyday… //End Rant.
I’m really looking forward to going home for X-mas though. My mom is coming to pick me up on X-mas eve and i’ll be home for like 2 days i think. That’s long enough though.. Don’t get me wrong, i love my mom but i hate being around her that much just for the simple fact that she’s my mom and it gets aggravating.
Also another great song! Embrace (Miami Horror & Fred Falke Remix) by Ladyhawke feat. PNAU Must download ASAP.
Bye for now. Lil Henry is calling. =D
I am sick of it. Sick of it all. I hate my Pittsburgh life all together now. It’s fuckin 3:52 a.m. and here i am, not tired at all, pissed to hell and back over nothing and wanting to just move the fuck away from everyone i know.
I could handle it. The only person that i would stay in contact with i think would be my mom and Tyler on occasion. I wish i could sell everything that i had and just take a back pack of clothes and hick my way across the country until i found a suitable for me to live for, for a while. That would be nice. Just a nice clean fucking start. Knowing no one, not having to be tied down, never worrying about paying bills again. I would love that.
That was a short little rant. I’m over it now.
I hope that everyone had a great Thanksgiving! Mine was a fucking one for the record books that’s for sure. Alethia and I went to Deondra’s probably around 6 and finished cooking dinner.
We got 6 40’s and Janet got a 6 pack of Bud Light.
At the end of the night, Deondra came back to our house. Oh boy, i don’t even know where to begin here… She was a hot messss… She started playing in Patsy’s tank (my frog) and that’s when i fell asleep. I woke up to her breaking my desk lamp and fuckin splashin her hands in the tank. All i remember is flipping out on here and telling her to get the fuck out and all of this bull shit. It was like babysitting a small child.
Alethia and I ended up walking her home around 6 this morning. I was too happy when she got out of our hair. Don’t get me wrong, i really like Deondra but god damn. She was driving me nuts! Haha..
Blahh I’m drinking a 40 right now and i’m bored as shit. I just texted Baliy because i’m to lazy to walk down stairs and asked her to play Donkey Kong with me so that will be amusing.
Sorry it was so short. More coming soon. =]
I feel like it has been so long since my last blog! God damn i am fucked up so excuse my improper grammer hahaha…. Anyways, the past few days have been ehh, if you get my drift. Nothing exciting has happened, nor has anything out of the norm been done. I think it’s been about a week now that i have just been fucked up lol. But, to be honest, i’m 19! I think it’s totally okay that i am.
I know that once i hit the gay age of death i would regret life if im not living it like i am. I’m not in school, i work full time and am looking for another job on the days that i have off… It’s sad to think about. I went to being this kid who wanted so much out of life to thinking he was worthless… That’s how i feel, worthless… I miss homework, thats sad. I feel like i need to move home. I mean, as much as i hate it i would have a car, i would work non stop and be around ppl i know that really care for me. Right now, i hate my life… My life is pointless… I wake up, go to work, come home, either see Michael or get fucked up.
I feel like i will never amount to anything.. I just want to cry because i know deep down all i want to do in life is make my mom proud of me. I realized this after my dad passed away. I feel like i fail at this. I’m an only child, I’m gay.. End of story. I tried to tell my mom she should have more kids but whatever… I feel like a huge disappointment right now. I wish i knew what she thought of me.
God damn it… Tears are rolling down my face right now, as i write this….
Lady Gaga, please forgive me. I downloaded the new Fame Mons†er cd and let me tell you, it rocks! Alethia is getting pissed because it’s all that i seem to be listening to at the moment but i could give two shits less. Since i’m on the topic of Lady Gaga i might as well throw out there that Tylers mom was unsuccessful on getting tickets to the NYC show.. They were sold out as soon as 12 hit on Friday… =[ He said that she is still going to try and find tickets for us so that's good, right?
Friday was the night of Rose's party, but i didn't end up going. Fuck that anyways. We had a little party of our own at the crib and let me tell you, i was royally fucked up=D haha. Deondra, Tesha, Michael, Nick, Kim and some other guy all came over and it was a good time.
Saturday my mommy came up! It was sooo nice to see her. Her hair has gotten quite long since the last time i have seen her. She picked me up at like 9, which i went to bed around 6 so i didn't get that much sleep and was still drunk as hell when i hung out with her. We went to Robinson and she took me grocery shopping. So now i finally have food. =]
Last night Deondra text me asking if i wanted to come over for dinner after work, because Janet, the stripper for those who don’t know, from downstairs was cooking so of course i said yes. Janet made stuffed peppers, mashed potatoes and tacos. It was so good to have a home cooked meal for a change. I’m so used to eating pasta and McDonalds.
I must say though, this was a good weekend. I’m excited to see what Friday, Saturday and Sunday brings. Hopefully just as much fun.
Tonight Brandon is coming over dinner. I expect him to arrive within the rest of the hour. It’s going to be nice to finally cook for him for as much as he has cooked for me lol.
What a productive day it has been for me! I woke up later then i wanted to but still got some shit done. My alarm started going off at 9:30 however, i slept till 11:30. I got up thew a load of clothes in the washer, got a shower and got ready.
Dana and i finally went job hunting. She came and picked me up around 1 and we hit up H&M first. I ended up snagging a gray thermal for 10 bucks and also picked up an application. Oh how i would love working there. Then we took a small stroll to Urban Outfitters where i found a pair of jeans for $19.99 and when they were rung up they came to be $9.99 which made my day. After our South Side adventure we made our way to Downtown where we grab some applications at the Westin and Marriot. As much as i want to work at H&M the hotels pay almost 10 bucks an hour so ‘ll defiantly take that if i get hired. I just have to stay clean for a few weeks… lol.
After that fiasco we made our way to Station Square and had lunch at Houlihan’s. I’m not gonna lie, it wasn’t that great of a meal. Ended up getting a very shitty tasting caesar salad and a chicken wrap. Dana got some soup and a caesar salad and she didn’t care for it that much either.. Oh well, maybe next time we will get some good food.
PacSun is having a deal on jeans, buy 2 get 1 free. I wish i had some extra cash. That sounds like a fuckin nice deal to me haha. I need some new painted on jeans, as Alethia would say.
Lady Gaga in NYC is closely approaching and i desperately need to start saving. The tickets for the concert alone are $135. Not to mention on how Tyler and I are going to get there. We haven’t decided on flying or taking the Amtrak. I want to fly just because i love flying so much but the train wouldn’t be so bad i suppose.
Carrington is in transit to PGH right now and is due at 11:15 so i have to go and pick him up from Downtown since Alethia is at work. Joy. I still have no clue of to where he is staying and why exactly he came down. I guess i will find out when i see him. He doesn’t know it yet but he is going to Rose’s glow party tomorrow haha. That’s going to be fun.
On a lighter side, i have had the same work schedule for almost a month now. It’s kinda nice since i know what times i work and what days i have off. My mom wanted to come up and take me grocery shopping the other day but i had to work. She said that she might come up saturday morning before i have to work and take me. I really don’t feel like getting up that early though. Oh well, i haven’t seen her for a few months so i suppose i’m down. I’m starting to miss that ho. In reality, i’m really starting to miss home a lot. I am so sick of living here. It seems like it’s not even home. When i get into the house and come to my room it just doesn’t feel right. I wish i had money to just up and move. I would do that in a heartbeat. Oh well. It’s just something that i’m going to have to deal with.
Michael is the name and fame is my game. I am a self diagnosed junkie and spend my nights wondering the depths of the internet. I have the most amazing roommate and love that bitch to death.